Why Goal Setting Can Ruin Your Life

We live in a world where acquisition and achievement have become all important. This has been supported by our innate desire to have more and be more in life. A whole movement which studied the psychology of success over the past 40 years has taught us that the only way to acquisition and achievement, in short to “success,” is to set clearly defined goals. Having set these goals, they are achieved by focusing unwaveringly on their achievement and taking action, often daily, to achieve those chosen outcomes. Read More

Refocus The Lens

Our minds and our consciousness are like a camera with a zoom lens. Sometimes we have this lens open for a wide angled shot, but most of the time we have the lens zoomed in and focused on what we want to see. We programme our camera from our consciousness to seek out for us certain circumstances and experiences and this programming faithfully brings us exactly what we want. Read More

May I be Spacious …

What has this got to do with Luck?

One of the key qualities that Buddhist traditions focus upon is equanimity. Equanimity is said to be the balance, born of wisdom; the ability to have an open perspective in our lives which in turn, leads us to often greater understanding and patience in our life experiences. It also embraces the ability to let go of control and accept that which is with ease. With equanimity comes a spaciousness in our lives. This spaciousness embraces a willingness to open our focus beyond purely what we want in any situation. Read More

Programmed for Perfection

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” St Catherine of Siena

The Bishop of London who gave the sermon at William and Kate’s wedding on Friday started his sermon with this wonderful quote. The 29th April is the festival of St Catherine of Siena and so this quote was so fitting. As we go about our busy days though it is easy to forget that we are here to be something that God meant us to be. It is very easy to focus purely on our outer world and all that is happening in that world around us. We forget that we have inner world and that the key message of that inner world is that we were created perfect. Read More

Desire is the Problem

This is a well known philosophy from Buddha about our desires. Buddha taught that our desires and our attachments to certain conditions and circumstances are the root of our pain and our suffering. Let’s explore this further because as human beings, it is very hard not to desire things and to want certain circumstances to happen!
I like to think of it this way: it is fine to desire things and what makes us magnetic to those very things we desire is to come from that place that says, “I desire this, and yet I don’t need it. I am happy if things work out this way and I am happy if they work out another way.” Read More

Standing in Your Power

When we think of the word power, it is easy for us to have many negative connotations come to mind. A good example we may think of is Churchill leading Britain to victory in World War Two with his attitude of “victory at all costs,” and his resolute determination to operate on his own terms whatever sacrifices were necessary from the British people and the nation as a whole. Read More

Let it Be … ‘Cause Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright

On Wednesday night, I went to the BBC Formula One team party which was held at a gorgeous gastro pub in Shere, Surrey. The evening was a mix of chatting, a lovely meal and then music played by a brilliant singer and electric guitarist called Kane and Eddie Jordan (BBC F1 commentator) on the tabla (Indian drum). The singer had put medleys of songs together, often starting off with one song, singing part of anther in the middle of it and then returning to the first song to complete the medley. Read More

Embracing our Shadows

Something that we have to accept about ourselves is that we all have our shadow sides. These are the parts of us that appear, often when we are under pressure, and lead us to act in ways that we then feel guilty about. They are the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that we have that we find totally unpalatable about ourselves. These are for example, the parts of us that shout at our partners, our children and at other drivers on the road that appear to “cut us up”, when we have been working all day with our clients and peers being as kind as anything. In short our shadows are the very things that we do not want other people to know about us because we have been taught from a very young age that it is not acceptable to behave in this way. Read More

Moving from Independence to In-Dependence

We have been brought up to believe that being independent is a good thing. We think that being independent is  cool and courageous, that being independent we do not need anyone, we are  a free spirit. People who have an unhealthy attachment to being independent hold the belief that they can do everything on their own. Relying on other people is not something they would choose to do. They find it easier to rely purely on themselves and not get into situations which could mean having to depend on others. Read More

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