Getting in touch with your feminine energy sounds easy, doesn’t it? Meditate for a while and you must be there? In truth, for most of us it is not that easy, either for women or for men. One of the key reasons for this is that the feminine is represented in our consciousness by our mothers. For many of us, our relationships with our mothers were not the nurturing, supportive relationships that would have enabled us to fully develop our feminine power.
Ideally our mothers represent a place of safety, security and love when we were children. A place where we can go to feel nurtured, supported and loved. From a loving relationship with our mothers we learn that we are totally loved and we learn to love both ourselves and others with ease. We feel secure in the feminine domain of acknowledging and expressing our feelings, relating to others, trusting our inner wisdom and overall, having complete faith in the Universe to support us in all that we do.
Unfortunately for many of us, our mothers did not provide this for us. They were not brought up in that way and so they did not have the emotional nourishment and security from their mothers that enabled them to parent us in that way.
My mother had an extremely strict mother who very much ruled the household with domination and control, rules and demands. I was largely brought up by this lady too during much of my childhood while my mother was working. Indeed it was my mother’s choice to let her mother bring me up so she could continue with her teaching career. This left me as an only child in a situation where I had to do as I was told…or else, and be seen and not heard under all circumstances. Although in part I rebelled against this, I realised very early on it was just easier to give in and accept the regime, and say nothing.
With this lack of emotional understanding and nourishment from an early age, developing the deep inner security that goes with the feminine power has not been easy. Indeed having faith is effortless when you feel secure, but when you don’t, having faith seems like a major challenge. This is what my Universe is continually wanting me to learn and heal in my life, so that I become stronger in my feminine power and release the energies of control that seem so familiar from my childhood.
So how do we heal this lack of security that so many of us suffer from as a result of our upbringing with our mothers?
Firstly we have to be willing to forgive our mothers who were merely behaving in the exact same way that they were treated. They were doing their best and their actions did not mean that they didn’t love us, but that they didn’t know how to love us any better. We can never fully know all that they were going through during our childhood and what challenges they were facing that made them behave towards us in the way that they did. With this forgiveness, regardless of whether they are alive or have passed on, it sets you free to develop and grow in your feminine energy free from the effects of the past.
Secondly we have to learn to provide ourselves with the inner nourishment and support that we so badly need. Healing our relationship with ourselves enables us to grow in feelings of security. One of the key ways in which we do this is to acknowledge our innate goodness regardless of the mistakes that we have made. We were taught as children that we were good if we succeeded academically, if we were well behaved, and did what Mummy and Daddy wanted, and if we looked good in all situations. As adults we have to know that we are good and perfectly OK even if things aren’t going our way, even if we do make mistakes and even if we aren’t a success. This innate perfection is not dependent on what we do, but on who we are and the more we can know this, the easier it is to grow the receptive, passive and magnetic power of our feminine energy.
Thirdly we have to forgive ourselves for all the times we have not treated ourselves with love and support. Very often we compensate for this lack of inner nourishment with eating disorders, addictive behaviours and other compulsive attachments as a way of punishing oursves for our inner emptiness and insecurity. This self attack, which breeds so much guilt within, has to be acknowledged and forgiven and replaced with self love and acceptance of our feelings.
As we learn to love and forgive ourselves we come to see this love reflected back to us in the world around us through the people we meet and the support that we receive from them. We find ourselves spending our time with different people and attracting in new relationships and friendships which nurture and support us in who we are.
The more we are in touch with our sense of inner connection to Source, the easier this is to do. Our inner connection, and ability to be in the present moment, allows us the opportunity to be conscious of our feelings and behaviours and make healthy choices based on this awareness. There will be times when we choose against ourselves, but more and more we will be able to choose to support our feelings with self love rather than attack.
From this inner connection we are also able to grow in our awareness of the love and perfection that is already within us. In turn this develops our sense of inner security, our faith gradually grows and we are able to recover more quickly from the challenging situations of our lives and see their value in our growth and development.