Relationships provide your greatest opportunities to love, heal and grow. Only through relating to others do you come to know yourself, even finding beautiful aspects of yourself that would otherwise have remained buried under the disguise of your ego.
Despite undesirable qualities that your ego – yes, your ego! – can inject into any relationship, finding and keeping something truly wonderful can be far simpler than you may imagine. It comes down to your clear intention and total commitment to experience your best relationship ever, coupled with allowing your intuition to guide you in bringing this to fruition. Let’s look at this in detail.
STEP ONE: Set a Clear Intention
Your universe responds to the clarity of your intentions. If you state that you intend to have your best relationship ever, that is what you will get. I like to write down such really important intentions in a journal, and back up the initial statement with certain crucial details. You might want to add details such as “non-smoker” or character aspects such as “happy”, “positive”, “confident”, and logistic details, e.g. “lives within a ten-mile radius of my home”, “financially secure”, “home owner”, etc. – whatever is important to you in a relationship.
It is well worth spending time on this, because the more precise the details you provide, the easier it is for your universe to align the right person with you. However, always include the proviso “. . . or something better”. You then allow yourself the possibility of being intuitively guided to an even more magical relationship than whatever you had originally envisioned.
STEP TWO: Surrender Your Request to the Universe
It is very important to surrender your request totally, in the absolute knowledge and faith that, in the perfect time and in the perfect way, this relationship will appear for you. Surrendering entails being at ease in the attitude of mind that says, “This is what I want, and if I don’t get it, that’s all right too.”
From that standpoint, you can comfortably hand the whole thing over to the universe, knowing that your intuition is free to go to work in aligning you with your desired outcome. I find that the more I am able to let things go in this way, the easier it is for me to manifest them.
STEP THREE: Be the Person You Want to Attract!
You can only have what you are willing to be. If you want to attract a partner who is happy, fun to be with, loving, kind and generous, that is what you must be. If you behave in negative, unloving ways, what kind of person will be attracted to you?
Yes, we all have off days. Ultimately, though, we are here to allow our higher natures to shine, and to be the best we can in any situation. Being the person you want to attract is the quickest way of magnetically drawing those qualities to you as embodied in a partner.
STEP FOUR: Take Action on the Intuitive Messages You Receive
It is very important to act upon intuitive guidance you receive. The steps you are guided to take may often seem completely unrelated to your desired outcome, but nonetheless you must follow them at the right time.
Although intuitive guidance can present itself in several different ways, its fundamental language comprises gut feelings and hunches. These will help you to distinguish true guidance from false, whether as images, inner whispers or pop-up ideas.
Visually, guidance can present itself within the mind’s eye, or as things you see by chance out in the world. Auditory guidance may be a small quiet voice within or messages you perceive in conversation and music, or even in what you hear yourself say to others. Your practical, thinking mind can also be a messenger on behalf of intuition – if it is sufficiently open and relaxed. Ideas and insights then appear out of the blue and suddenly you “just know” something. The hallmark of all intuitive guidance is its highly positive and repetitive nature: expansive, joyful feelings as you contemplate the next step, and the sense that it “just feels right” when you do take action.
STEP FIVE: Focus on Giving, Not Getting
In any relationship, the focus can easily begin and continue as “What can I get from this person?” That could be something physical, emotional or financial.
In truth, your universe sends you people who will provide opportunities to grow in areas where your personality is weak; to heal negative patterns connected with the past; and to develop certain character qualities such as personal power, compassion and love. We have to enter relationships as giving individuals focused on serving the higher imperative to heal and grow. We have to stay focused on those qualities, especially when it may seem to be tough going.
STEP SIX: Focus on the Best in Your Partner
While you are in the honeymoon stage of the relationship, this is easy to do! Later, you may enter a phase of power struggles and it will be harder to remember the qualities that initially drew you to love your partner.
It is important to continue focusing on them, though, because if you see your partner as moody, lazy and distant, this is exactly what you are creating.
However, this does not mean you should stop yourself speaking out about things that make you unhappy. If you can speak up while still honouring the other person’s basic goodness, your communications will be far better received. When we speak from our own pain, communication breaks down.
It is often necessary to ask for guidance on how to resolve problems. As before, allow your inner messenger to give you the answer. You may be guided to a book, a website, a person – each one a source of the right information at the right moment, leading to resolution.
STEP SEVEN: Enjoy Your Relationship and Surrender It to God
The relationships in your life are for giving and receiving love and great pleasure. It takes commitment to keep a relationship at the highest level, but again, your intuition is there to help. Always keep asking what you need to learn or change within yourself to keep your relationship at its best. Your intuition can guide you if you are willing to surrender your relationship into God’s hands and allow it to unfold in the way that God intends.
In summary, then, with your inner guide acting always in your highest interests – and therefore in the best interests of both of you – you have the capacity to bring your partner and yourself to the highest level of personal, intimate development. If you are committed to doing the healing work on yourself, every situation you encounter can be moved forward to help advance your relationship rapidly to “best ever”.
Article originally written for Natural Health Magazine